Dear Love,

I must have a word with you, Love.

I have had a strange relationship with you.

Sometimes, I have feared you. Afraid of being wronged; of losing myself.

Sometimes, I have expected you. Only to be deceived with emptiness.

Sometimes, I have hated you. Because you made me have to work on myself first, and be patient beyond what I believed was possible.


I must have a word with you, Love.

I must have a word with you, for you have flooded my soul – completely, entirely, fully – without knocking first.

You seem to have no manners; you come in like a flood, yet terrify me once you’ve settled in my home that you could also leave just as swiftly, like a spooked rabbit going back into its hole for safety.

But when you came, you stayed. As long as you are nurtured and taken care of well, you will cozy up by my heart’s walls.

From what I have understood, I must treat you like a puppy or a child. You need to be taken on walks, to breathe and get some air. You need to be fed with kindness, honesty, understanding, and a dash of forgiveness here and there to calm your occasional tantrums.

You are sweet, but sometimes, you can turn into Lust when you are starved.

Lust, who is gnarly with spikes, each one adorned with sweet honey at the tips, that drips into her victim’s lips, confusing the sweetness for comfort.

I am not saying you cannot wear spikes as well.

On the contrary, Love, you are spiked. Spiked with dreams, wonders, and fears of those that desire you.

I have come to understand you, Love, or at least, I seem to have scratched at the surface of how I think you want to be described. And that is through two main ideas

1. You do not give yourself to others, rather, you give others an opportunity.

An opportunity for you, Love, to enter a home, a heart, a life.

Here, let me explain a little on this theory I have:

Love gives you opportunities.

Love does not give you a perfect partner, but it will give you opportunities to find them. This can take the shape of personal growth, by making you concentrate on yourself, take care of your dreams, and slowly place someone else in your path in a way that you never anticipated.

Maybe this has not yet happened for you, or maybe you have not noticed the opportunity Love gave you once. If so, do not despair, for Love is generous – to an extent.

Love will hide itself in a job opportunity, in a coffee break, in a walk at that park you’ve always wanted to visit, or even in a profile presented to you randomly on that dating app you downloaded for ‘shits and giggles’ one bored afternoon.

Little do you know, though, that this is an opportunity presented to you by Love.

2. You seek for love yourself, Love.

Love is not about relationships.

Love is about individuals.

Let me explain before you bat your eyes at me:

As RuPaul, the American queen of drag queens, once said, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” And amen to that.

Yes, yes, I know. It’s clichĂ©. But it’s also true. Love loves love.

Read that again.

Love loves love.

Just like you may want love, well, guess what? Love also wants to find love.

In this sense, Love is about partnerhood. No, not parenthood, but partnerhood, which is, I believe, the best way of describing what a partnership or relationship is meant to be – you raise, nurture, and grow Love together like you would with children, for example. Once Love has found love, it will need to be taken care of, and this you will do for a lifetime with the right partner.

But it’s important to note that Love is wild as well, and does not pick a particular direction to head towards first.

Like a lost seagull, Love will loom over various seas, sometimes pecking at a sick fish that has been caught in a tangle of Lust, Fear, Anger, or even, Despair. Sometimes these pecks will free it, and it’ll be able to swim towards a warmer current. Whether they will find Love in time, will only depend on the strength of their swim.

Love may stumble onto a fair captain that has mastered the sea, sailing with the warm winds. It will land atop the mast of this captain’s boat, and slowly tame their heart and their Love. Slowly but surely, dancing above the clouds and sailing across the seven sea’s.

Love can take the form of a puppy you’ve had your eyes on.

Love can take the form of the curls adorning that one co-worker’s sun-kissed neck.

Your Love may love their morning breath like it were Chanel’s No. 5, and their low snores like if it were their favourite song.

If Love finds you, remember: You will fall. You will scrape your knees. You will get upset. You will also have to make choices, decisions, and sacrifices at times. But Love will have your back, if you’ve got its back as well.

So with this I say, brave reader, do not be afraid of Love’s flood. Take care of its currents and trust its warmth. It’ll be slow at first, like a boat sinking in honey waters, but soon enough, you will find that you are completely submerged in a gleaming lake.

Go dip your toes in that lake, I’m sure Love will surprise you with the current it’ll lead you by.

All the best, and, good luck,

a fellow loved

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